Centered For Women

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Use five anchors. Each one keeps you grounded when relationships pull you off center.

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- 1 -

Self Trust Before Their Opinion

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You shift from:

"What do they think of me?"

to "What do I think of me after this choice?"

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Practices:

Ask yourself first before asking others: "Do I like how I am showing up?"
Do not argue with the red flags you can already see
Treat your discomfort as data, not drama

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- 2 -

Calm Body, Clear Boundaries

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You let your body guide your boundaries.

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Signals:

Tight chest, knots in stomach, headaches around certain people or topics

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Questions:

"What is my body saying no to?"

"What is the smallest boundary that would honor what I feel?"

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Examples:

"I am not available to talk in that tone."

"I want to see consistent effort, not just apologies and promises."

"If you yell or insult me, I will end the conversation and we can try again later."

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- 3 -

Open Heart, Not Open Season

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Centered does not mean cold. You stay capable of love without letting people trample you.

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You practice:

Giving trust gradually based on behavior
Receiving care without immediately wanting to earn it back
Saying "Thank you, that means a lot" instead of "You did not have to, I owe you"

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You can say:

"I care about you and I am not available for that behavior."

"I love you and I will not abandon myself to keep this."

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- 4 -

Direct Communication That Honors Both

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- You do: -

"I feel, I need, I will" sentences
Ask for clarity instead of assuming

- You avoid: -

Vague tests
Silent treatments that go on forever
Hinting and punishing instead of speaking

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Examples:

"When plans change last minute, I feel unimportant. I need more notice or I will make other plans."

"I am not OK with us calling each other names when we fight. I will take a break if it happens."

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- 5 -

Choice, Not Compulsion

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Centered you chooses the relationship. You are not held hostage by survival patterns.

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You ask:

"Am I here because this is healthy enough to grow in, or because I am terrified to leave?"

"If my nervous system were calm, would I still choose this?"

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You make moves like:

Pausing before texting or reacting
Taking time to answer big questions
Allowing yourself to walk away from what keeps you in constant distress, even if it hurts

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Core Mantra

"I do not abandon myself to avoid being abandoned by someone else."

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What survival archetype are you running?

The Mirror Archetype Quiz maps your specific defense strategy - the one keeping you from staying centered.

- Take the Archetype Quiz → -