Calm body. Clean asks. Steady connection you can feel.
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You spiral when they don't text back within an hour
You over-explain every ask and build a case for why you deserve reassurance
You analyze every interaction, replaying conversations to figure out what went wrong
You chase when they pull back, even though you know it pushes them further away
Your body feels like it's on fire when connection feels uncertain
You've been told you're "too much" or "too needy" and you're starting to believe it
Your nervous system learned that urgency saves connection. When you were young, being quiet meant being forgotten. Expressing needs meant getting dismissed. So your body learned to amplify - to chase, to explain, to prove you're worth keeping.
Your pattern is not a character flaw. It's a survival strategy that's working overtime.
The work isn't to become less. It's to give your body evidence that safety is possible without urgency. That connection can exist without constant proof. That you can ask once and trust the answer.
15-20 minutes each. Watch on your own time.
20+ copy-paste scripts for asking, repairing, boundaries.
3-5 minute exercises to regulate in real time.
Printable PDF with reflection prompts and tracking.
Step-by-step framework for coming back after conflict.
Revisit anytime. Come back when you need a reset.
Learn why urgency feels like safety and how your nervous system got wired for anxiety.
Build a toolkit of micro-practices that actually calm the nervous system when urgency spikes.
Learn to ask for what you need without over-explaining or building a case for your worth.
Build the skills to recover from conflict and maintain regulation long-term.
"I stopped texting him five times when he didn't respond. Now I send one message and trust that he'll reply when he can. The anxiety is still there sometimes, but it doesn't run the show anymore."
"The clean ask changed everything. I used to write paragraphs explaining why I needed reassurance. Now I just say 'I need to know we're okay. Can we check in tonight?' and he actually responds better."
"I didn't realize how much energy I was spending analyzing every conversation until I stopped. The regulation drills gave me something to do with my hands when the spiral started. Game changer."
Plan for 1-1.5 hours per week. Three 15-20 minute video lessons, plus daily 3-5 minute regulation drills.
No. The tools work whether you're single, dating, or in a relationship. If you're single, you'll learn these patterns before the next relationship.
Yes. Week 4 includes specific co-regulation strategies for anxious-avoidant dynamics.
No. This is psychoeducation and skills training based on attachment theory and nervous system regulation. If you're in crisis, please reach out to a professional.
Yes. 30-day money-back guarantee. If the program isn't right for you, email for a full refund.
✓ 30-day money-back guarantee
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Not sure if this is right for you? Take the quiz to see your pattern, or book a session to talk it through.