💛 Couples Workbook

Couple Repair Workbook

Regulate first. Then repair.

Rule of Use

No section should be done while either person is dysregulated.

Get the Workbook - $37

This is not a read-once workbook. It's a repair tool.

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Use it when things feel off, tense, or confusing

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Use it after fights

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Use it before deciding whether to stay or leave

What's inside

1

Are We Even in a Repairable Dynamic?

Before teaching communication, you check reality. The Repair Readiness Check helps both of you see clearly.

  • 5-question assessment for repair potential
  • Scoring: Repair possible, conditional, or survival mode
  • Reflection: What are you trying to repair?
2

Nervous System Translation

Most fights are nervous systems colliding, not character flaws. Learn what's really happening.

  • Anxious system vs. avoidant/shutdown system
  • Translation exercise: What I did → What I meant → What you heard
  • Insight: What if neither of you was wrong - just dysregulated?
3

Regulate Before You Talk

This is non-negotiable. No repair happens inside activation.

  • 90-second reset protocol
  • Physical cues for settling
  • How to know when both bodies are ready
4

The Repair Conversation Structure

This replaces arguing. A 5-step framework with scripts.

  • Name the moment without blame
  • Name your body state
  • Ask for translation
  • Name the repair together
5

What Real Repair Looks Like

Not apologies. Not promises. Acknowledgment + changed behavior + consistency.

  • Repair checklist for both partners
  • Pattern prompt: Am I staying because repair happens or because I hope it will?
6

Common Repair Blockers

Circle what shows up. Defensiveness. Minimizing. Shutting down. Threatening withdrawal.

  • Identify recurring patterns
  • Reflection: Which of these keeps repeating?
7

When to Pause Repair

Sometimes pausing is the right move. Scripts for pausing without abandoning.

  • When one person refuses regulation
  • When the same wound keeps reopening
  • Script: "I'm not walking away. I'm pausing because this isn't safe to repair right now."
8

Viability Check

The truth moment. Answer honestly.

  • Do I feel safer over time in this relationship?
  • Is repair mutual or one-sided?
  • Am I growing or shrinking?
9

Closure or Continuation

Whether you continue or close, you do it with clarity.

  • Repair agreement template (if continuing)
  • Clarity statement script (if closing)

Choose your option

Workbook Only

Couple Repair Workbook

$37

PDF workbook. Work through together at your own pace.

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Bundle - Save $17

Workbook + Live Session

$117

Workbook + 90-minute live Couples Translation session with Scar.

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Both partners must be willing to participate.

Already have the workbook?

Book a live Couples Translation session. I sit with both of you and translate what you're actually trying to say to each other. You leave with scripts and a shared vocabulary.

Book Session $97 · 90 minutes · Both attend

The Core Truth

You do not fix relationships.

You regulate, translate, and observe.

Repair reveals truth. It does not create it.