How early did the chaos start? Map what got built before age seven.
Ground Zero does not always look like a moment. Sometimes it is a relationship. A family system. A decade. A way you were spoken to every single day until your nervous system filed it as normal. The question is not "what happened to you" in the sense of a specific event. The question is "what did you have to become to survive where you were." The origin point is whatever you adapted to. Finding it is not about assigning blame. It is about understanding why the pattern exists so you can stop treating it like a personality flaw instead of a logical response to something real.
A specific event that changed how the nervous system understood safety. Often visible, often remembered, sometimes not.
A specific person or dynamic that shaped the nervous system over time. Less about what happened and more about what was consistent.
A system, family structure, or culture that made certain adaptations mandatory for survival. Often the hardest to see because it was "just how things were."
Most people have all three operating at once. You are looking for the one with the most weight. Start there.