Is it ego, trauma, or something else

Important: What you are about to see is a functional map, not a clinical diagnosis. These categories describe behavioral patterns and the nervous system needs that drive them. They are built from observed patterns in harmful relationships, not from a clinician's assessment of a specific person. You cannot diagnose someone else with this tool. What you can do is recognize the pattern you were dealing with so you understand why the standard playbook did not work on them. Use this to understand your experience. Do not use it to sentence someone else.