Speaking needs without accusation. Hearing pain without collapse.
This module gives you the actual scripts for hard conversations. The goal isn't to win or to be right,it's to be heard and to hear. Clean communication names your experience without blaming; the listener's job is to acknowledge first, before explaining or defending.
"When you ____, my body feels ____."
Partner responds only with: "I hear that." No explanations. No defense. Just acknowledgment. Then switch.
Partner responds only with: "I hear that." No explanations. No defense. Just acknowledgment. Then switch.
Exercises
- Clean Communication Script: Practice "When you [specific behavior], my body feels [sensation/emotion]." No "you always" or "you never."
- Listener Rule: Partner responds only with "I hear that." Then optionally: "Is there more?" No explanations, no defense, until the speaker has finished.
- Switch: Same format. Each person gets one round of speaking and one round of listening before any problem-solving.
Do this when you're both regulated. If either of you escalates, use your containment agreement and pause.