Is It Trauma, Neurodivergence, Or Both

Question 1 of 18

Were you like this as a child, before any major trauma or difficult relationships

Yes, I was always this way. Teachers and family noticed before anything bad happened. No, I was different before. This started after specific events or relationships. I was already different, but the events made everything way more intense.

Question 2 of 18

Did teachers or adults comment on you being shy, intense, sensitive, in your own world, or "too much" even when life at home seemed fine

Yes, constantly. I was always labeled as different, even in good environments. No, I blended in fine until things got hard at home or in relationships. I was a bit different, but trauma made it visible to everyone.

Question 3 of 18

Have you always struggled with sensory stuff like noise, tags, lights, textures, temperature, or sudden changes

Yes, lifelong. Even as a kid I was picky about clothes, sounds, foods, environments. Not really. I only get overwhelmed now when I am stressed or triggered. I was always a bit sensitive, but trauma turned it up to unbearable.

Question 4 of 18

Does this pattern show up across childhood, friendships, school, jobs, and solo time, or mainly in close relationships

Everywhere. It follows me regardless of who I am with or what I am doing. Mainly in relationships. I am different when I am alone or with safe people. It is everywhere, but relationships make it ten times worse.

Question 5 of 18

Do you shut down more from loud places, bright lights, busy rooms, or multiple people talking

Yes, sensory chaos shuts me down even when nothing emotional is happening. Not really. I can handle noise and chaos if I feel emotionally safe. Both hit me. Sensory overload makes me vulnerable to emotional triggers too.

Question 6 of 18

Or do you shut down more from conflict, rejection, being ignored, getting gaslit, or walking on eggshells

Not as much. I can handle relational stuff if my environment is calm. Yes, relational threat is my main trigger. Conflict shuts me down fast. Both. Relational threat AND sensory chaos both wreck me.

Question 7 of 18

When you are overwhelmed, does your body react mainly to injustice and being misunderstood, or mainly to too much input

Too much input. I hit a wall even when no one is being mean. Injustice and being misread. That is what sends me spiraling. Both feel the same in my body. It all becomes one big overwhelm.

Question 8 of 18

Do you have a "public version" of yourself you keep up just to seem normal, even when no one is upset with you

Yes. I am always performing "normal" so people do not clock how different I feel inside. Only when I sense danger. I perform to avoid conflict or abandonment. I mask to seem normal AND I fawn to stay safe. Different masks for different threats.

Question 9 of 18

Do you rehearse what you might say or replay entire conversations in detail after social interactions

Yes, constantly. Before, during, and after. This is how I have always navigated social stuff. Only after conflict or when I am anxious about a specific relationship. I always did it a bit, but trauma made it obsessive and exhausting.

Question 10 of 18

Does your exhaustion come from pretending you understand, pretending you are not overwhelmed, or pretending you are okay when you are not

Pretending I understand and pretending I am not overwhelmed. I hide how much effort basic things take. Pretending I am okay when I am not. Hiding my pain so people do not leave or get mad. All of it. I hide my confusion AND my pain AND my overwhelm constantly.

Question 11 of 18

Do you twist yourself up so people do not leave or get mad, or do you act normal so people do not think you are weird

So people do not think I am weird. I mask to blend in, not to prevent abandonment. So people do not leave. I fawn to prevent conflict and abandonment. Both. I mask to blend in AND fawn to prevent abandonment. Double exhaustion.

Question 12 of 18

After you freeze or shut down, what actually brings you back online

Time alone in silence, stimming, or a specific ritual (music, pacing, deep focus on a hobby). Fixing the conflict, getting reassurance, or knowing the threat is gone. I need BOTH. Sensory decompression AND relational repair. One without the other does not work.

Question 13 of 18

How long does it take you to recover from social situations or conflict

Hours to days. Even good social time drains me. I need serious recharge time. It depends on whether the conflict is resolved. Unresolved = I cannot move on. Both matter. I need time AND resolution. Missing either keeps me stuck.

Question 14 of 18

Can you recover alone, or do you need another person to help regulate you

I recover best alone. People make it harder even when they are trying to help. I need someone safe to co-regulate with. Alone, I spiral. I need alone time first, then connection. The order matters.

Question 15 of 18

When people misread you, is it usually because they think you do not care, or because they think you care too much

They think I do not care. My face and tone do not show what I am feeling inside. They think I care too much. They call me dramatic, sensitive, or needy. Both at different times. Sometimes I seem cold, sometimes I seem too much.

Question 16 of 18

Do you struggle more with understanding unwritten social rules, or with trusting people after being hurt

Unwritten rules. I miss things everyone else seems to know instinctively. Trusting people. I know the rules, I just do not feel safe. Both. I do not get the rules AND I do not trust people. Double barrier.

Question 17 of 18

When you imagine being fully healed, what changes

Nothing about my wiring changes. I just want support, not a cure. I want to stop masking. I could finally relax around people. The fear and hypervigilance would be gone. The trauma parts could heal, but my brain would still work differently. Both are real.

Question 18 of 18

Which statement fits you best

"I have always been wired differently. Life has been harder because the world is not built for my brain." "I was fine until things happened. Now my nervous system is stuck in survival mode." "My brain was already different, and trauma added a whole extra layer on top. They are tangled together."