Your Nervous System Is On Trial

You are not dramatic. Instead, you are living in a body that has been scrutinized and put on trial since childhood.

Every reaction you have is subject to an internal jury - voices from your past, such as your mother's, an ex's, and even your own - trained to interrogate every emotion you experience.

Questions like "Am I overreacting?" or "Am I too much?" echo in your mind, causing you to doubt the validity of your feelings. People may tell you to "calm down," as if your nervous system is something you can simply switch on and off.

But that is not the reality.

The Calculation of the Body

Your body is not being dramatic. It is doing math.

It is tallying up every instance when the energy shifted and the truth was withheld. Every time someone professed love while subtly harming you. Every moment you cried and were told it "wasn't that bad," or that you were "imagining things," or to "stop being sensitive."

Lingering Effects in Adulthood

Now, as an adult trying to form healthy relationships, your nervous system reacts in familiar ways.

• Your chest tightens when someone's tone changes
• Your stomach sinks when stories do not add up
• Your mind races, connecting dots you wish you could ignore

Instead of questioning others' behavior, you put yourself on trial, scrutinizing your own triggers before considering the actions of those around you. You chastise yourself with the same words others once used: "Stop doing too much," "Maybe you are the problem," and "Other people do not react like this."

Recognizing Real Reactions

Let's be clear: some of you are not overreacting. In fact, you may be the only one responding to what is truly happening.

There is a distinction between a nervous system misfiring due to old trauma, and one accurately picking up on present-day signals such as odd energy, dishonesty, or subtle mistreatment.

To discern the difference, ask yourself:

• Is this feeling about what is happening right now, or am I stacking a lifetime of pain onto this moment?
• If I slow down and focus on the facts, is there something genuinely off here?
• Would I tell a friend to ignore this, or would I reassure them that their feelings are valid?

If the honest answer is that anyone would feel uneasy about the situation, then you are not being dramatic. That is your body refusing to return to that internal courtroom with a silenced voice.

The Layer of Neurodivergence

There is another, less discussed layer: neurodivergence.

For those with autism, ADHD, or sensory sensitivities, the brain is wired to notice patterns, shifts in energy, tone changes, micro-expressions, and inconsistencies.

If you grew up in emotional chaos without learning healthy conflict or safety, and your nervous system is hyper aware, being told you are "doing too much" for reacting is not drama - it is a double bind.

Moving Toward Emotional Maturity

The real work is to avoid silencing your body simply to maintain peace, while also not blindly trusting every first impulse.

Learn to sit with your reactions long enough to understand what they are truly communicating. Sometimes your nervous system will say, "This is old trauma. We are safe now." Other times, it will alert you: "No, something is wrong here. Pay attention."