People act like you have two selves fighting inside you. The emotional one and the logical one.
The story goes like this: Emotional brain ruins everything. Logical brain cleans it up.
So if you are intense, sensitive, BPD flavored, autistic coded, or just deeply feeling, you start to believe your emotions are always wrong and logic is always right.
You try to live in logic only.
You talk yourself out of being hurt. You explain away red flags. You stay where you are dying because your list of pros and cons says it makes sense.
Meanwhile your emotional brain is in the back screaming "Something is off. Something is off. Something is off."
You call it overreacting. You call it trauma. You call it clingy, crazy, irrational.
Here is the truth.
Your emotional brain is not stupid. It is fast.
It picks up tiny cues your logical brain has not processed yet.
It feels tone changes. It feels distance. It feels shifts in energy and safety.
It may interpret them through old trauma stories, yes. But the signal itself is not random.
Logical brain is slower. It needs more data. It needs a narrative.
The problem is not that you have both. The problem is that nobody ever taught them how to work together.
So when the flip happens in love, in conflict, or in stress, your emotional brain hijacks the wheel and your logical brain disappears.
You say things you later regret. You make moves based on fear. You text twenty times or block someone forever in the same night.
Then when the storm passes, logic comes back online and shames you. Hard.
"Look what you did." "Look how insane you are." "No wonder everyone leaves."
Shame does not teach your emotional brain anything. It just makes it more panicked next time.
A better way to see it:
Emotional brain is the alarm.
Logical brain is the investigator.
You need both.
So next time you feel yourself flipping, instead of saying "I am wrong for feeling this" try "My alarm is going off. I am going to slow down and let my logical side help figure out why."
You can actually say it out loud or write it.
"My emotional brain thinks this person is pulling away." "What evidence do I have?" "What evidence do I not have?" "What can I ask directly instead of assuming?"
This does not mean your emotions suddenly disappear. It means you are giving both parts of you a role.
Emotion says "Alert." Logic says "Let me check."
You are not broken for having big feelings and strong thoughts at the same time. You are a human who was never taught how to run both systems without them fighting.
You can start now.
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